IVF Journey

IVF Round #1 - 0 embryos after retrieval (July 2017)

IVF Round #2 - 2 embryos after retrieval (September 2017)

Transferred both embryos in October (2017), resulted in miscarriage

Words cannot describe the sorrow I feel as I think about the last several months

of our IVF journey. We thought this would be a relatively painless process, 

definitely physically demanding, but we were confident it wouldn't be much 

of an emotional burden because we were certain it would be a rather smooth process.

Surprised... shocked ... aren't adequate descriptors of our feelings now.

We are angry, sad, anxious, hopeful. 

One thing I know for sure is that God is still with us.

I am not even sure how I know this with such certainty, but I do.

I see him painting the sky with the most beautiful pastels.

I see him transforming the trees outside with the most vivid shades of red and gold.

I saw a rainbow before our embryos were transferred, and while I was positive this was a sign

of reassurance from our Lord that we would be pregnant as a result of that procedure,

I cannot mistake His presence. He is with us. He sees our tears.

He hears our cries (and screams and anger). He cares.

For the first time in my life, this year I have experienced great loss 

with the comfort of truly knowing my God is near.

This journey has been unexpected and extremely challenging...

Way more brutal than Craig or I ever anticipated.

We are now in the midst of grieving our loss,

and deciding our next steps.

If you are reading this, please pray for us to have wisdom.

We desire to follow the will of God, and plea that His will leads to a child for us.

We pray for His glory to be revealed through this season of waiting and loss.

We pray that He would transform our hearts and prepare us for what is to come.

We pray for his blessing.

We pray for faith that He will provide all that He has called us to.

We pray for strength and patience and grace.

We pray that we may be used through this season of hardship.

We pray for His forgiveness and mercy.